I was depressed and I didn’t even know it!

Dear Tuesday, 
I accidentally slipped into depression and I didn’t even know it. I am not infallible. There are times when I can do anything. For every victory that I have seen, I have not seen as much despair. But, all the while I still remained thankful. I just had some other perception of my physical self.

I didn’t know that my daily routine of getting up at 5AM and working out was obsessively controlling how I thought my everyday should have its start. That hour became the moment that I began to covet. And, we all know that thou shall not covet. News of my impending surgery for a total hip replacement canceled out my desire to even try to remember what I use to be able to do. I stopped being able to sweat out my life issues, tire my body with challenging exercises, and having the pretend control of mastering the start of my day.

Now, I am certain that the total healing of my body does not constitute winning the battle. It requires continued belief and just mastering the words, “Amen.” 
That daily word alone has become my daily prize. My new Mantra. It is what I am still able to master without pain, false perceptions of myself or fatigue.

It took a solid month of doing everything, but really doing nothing for me to reestablish my footing.

Faith must be in what we say. So today, I opened my mouth and I said it out-loud. “Amen.”
I’m settled into knowing that it was not humility that I was in need of discovering through this life challenge. I learned that the best time to be glad is in everything that we are each blessed to be able to see and do. It’s just my time. 
When I saw that Daughter of mine this weekend. It was the perfect time. She accidentally reminded me that though we had planned out our adventure to meet up in Chicago Months ago, it somehow turned out to be the absolute perfect timing. 
I saw her and just like that I fell out of my depression. I’ve been a bit of a bitch on accident. Not to you...but to myself. I’ll have you know that I’m on the road to a comeback. I’m excited!!! Not because of my impending surgery, but because of Gods constant reminder to me that he has already prepared me for everything. Bye Bye Chicago. Hello rainy ATLANTA. I can still see the Sun fourth coming behind every cloud. I pray that you can do the same. I predict it’s going to be a sunny day anyhow.☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️Happy Tuesday !!!